disappointed... =.='''
8/26/2009
the feeling is so terrible..
disappointed..
the feeling of losing smt..
with juz a few words..
den my plan is gone..
reli cant take it down..
but wad can i do??
can i dun obey??
if i dun obey..
d consequences will be unimaginable..
so..
wad else can i do?
i also have no idea..
planned to go for a trip
during sept term break..
den afternoon received exam docket..
ard mid of sept have to pay le..
daddy said next month budget a bit tight
ask me dun go for d trip..
it's not as if i m asking him for money to go..
i just ask him to withdraw my bank money..
yet he say cannot..
i reli dunno wad can be done..
used my money without asking is ok..
but not returning my money when i need it..
is reli unbearable..
but i reli can do nth..
so my plan is interrupted..
i reli duno wad to do..
i just wanna spend a holiday happily..
is it reli tht hard??
am i not supposed to have fun??
m i supposed to just study??
am i supposed to not spend money?
i did not ask for any pocket money after sec schl finish..
now i earn my pocket money on my own..
n yet they are controlling my finance..
i m reli clueless..
wad can i do to make them satisfied with wad i did??
wad i did seems always imperfect..
while i reli did my best..
2 brothers..
one laptop each..
with unlimited pocket money..
with unlimited handphone usage..
even got ppl fetch them..
nvr experience the crowd in bus..
such nice benefits..
but i nvr get to enjoy..
it's not like i m trying to be calculative..
but since they are getting this much..
shudn't i get smt also??
i m already spending little of their money..
i juz want to spend my own money to go for a trip..
n is it reli tht hard??
seriously..
i m tired..
my dad everytime say how much i shud give him after i go to work..
when i m still studying..
i know i shud give him some..
but is it only money tht matters??
clueless..
helpless..
mindless..
moodless..
i m juz a shell without my soul..
produced to study n earn money..
to support my 2 brothers' expenses..
is it reli wad i am??
is it reli the purpose i m here?
i am really tired..
whether physically..
or mentally..


